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Join me! And let's break down the barriers surrounding the evolving world of Sexual Psychology. I'll be calling on psychologists, mental health professionals, researchers, and leading experts to debunk some of the misconceptions surrounding all things concerning sexuality and exposing some alternative approaches to therapy and self-love. I am your host, Margaux Underwood, a student in ABA Psychology, with dreams of eventually obtaining a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy with an AASECT Certification in Sex Therapy.
Episodes
Friday Jun 11, 2021
Friday Jun 11, 2021
Ms. Navia is a pillar in the Dallas community of femme dominants; not only has she been a part of ClubFEM for 15 years, but she also holds the position of the current headmistress. Today we discuss the misconceptions that some may have about what a dominant femme is supposed to look like, act like, and sound like; we're not all man-hating bitches from hell! We also like to slink around in our PJs too sometimes!
We dove into one of my favorite topics to discuss: BDSM is NOT all about sex, how to handle an individual who lacks respect, and some of the qualities you may learn about yourself by exploring the right or the left side of the slash. Go ahead and indulge yourself by tuning into the stream here or on the YouTube channel here. (https://youtu.be/kQFm-TADkOU)
If you would like to visit the website for the blog post, visit https://thepsychoe.com
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If you would like to find more of Ms. Navia, find her links below.
(https://fetlife.com/users/155630?sp=1)
(https://fetlife.com/groups/156533)
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Music is Face In It by @FallenforAutumn on Instagram
Friday May 28, 2021
Friday May 28, 2021
What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it an experience? A force unseen? Maybe it's a mindset? Or even, a spiritual practice..
“I believe that sex is the most direct pathway to our deepest healing and the fulfillment of our deepest human yearnings for connection and love. When we lose access to this erotic and sexual aspect of ourselves we cut ourselves off from a part of life that holds the power to deeply heal us.” -Susan Morgan Taylor
Love, also known for being the greatest healing force in our lives, is dynamic and can manifest itself in a multitude of fashions. Love is tender, love is kind, but love is also motherfucking violent and abrasive at times. No more of this passive form of love; love is an act that must be refined time and time again. For some, it is easy to express their love for whatever the occasion calls for, and for others, finding your expression can be difficult at times. You will doubt yourself, you will think you're "doing it all wrong"; but all of the preconceived ideas of what love might be, or look like, just don't apply to every situation we're faced with over our lifespans. Susan and I consider what love may look like in a diverse set of situations and what it takes to truly BE in a state of love.
Question.. have you ever been hit with a wave of emotion during a sexual experience? Did you stop what you were doing? Did you cry it out? Laugh it out? Scream it out? Susan points out that our hearts and our genitals are very closely intertwined, and that as our hearts open and release, so do our genitals. When we invite all that it is we are feeling into our sexual practice, we get to experience new and deeper levels of vulnerability and physically MAKE love.
Enjoy the episode, it's quite the trip.
To find more of Susan:
Thursday Apr 29, 2021
Thursday Apr 29, 2021
Find the full video here.
Sadly, our four-part series is closing out, but on the bright side, Dr. Ray and I discuss a beautiful piece of our lives that we both share. Coming from wildly different backgrounds and generations, we find a middle ground as it pertains to BDSM. The beauty within this realm of play is something unimaginable until you decide to take the leap.
We begin off by discussing the origins of our sexualities and where our kinks come from; you'd be surprised where your comes from and how it develops throughout our lifespans, but understanding why we like what we like, our thoughts become a little bit more tolerable, enough to maybe even try some of them!
Other topics covered are things like BDSM types of play, power dynamics and exchanges, cathartic release during scenes, communications, contracts, checklists, safety protocols, and last, but not to be forgotten.. BDSM is NOT therapy! It is a place to experience our vulnerabilities with those that we trust on the deepest of levels.
I'm positive that you all will enjoy this episode just as much as we did. It's packed with love, laughter, and lots and lots of eroticism! Enjoy.
Stay tuned for future episodes by following The PsycHoe on the social medias found on my website: The PsycHoe.
Find more of Dr. Darrel Ray below:
The Secular Sexuality Podcast Facebook
Or by checking out his books on the links below!
Music is Face In It by @fallenforautumn on Instagram
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
Thursday Apr 15, 2021
To watch the full video, follow this link. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLLU19XsKSs)
This episode is special because it starts with a guided meditation focused on aligning the chakras. Something I've never personally experienced before but am a true believer in after having allowed Jacqueline to lead me through this mindfulness exercise. I give my feedback when she finishes off with a nice, resonating singing bowl to bring it all together.
Furthermore, the conversation touched on how chakras develop over our lifespan and how each phase of our lives emphasizes on this growth; we looked at the platinum rule and what it means to treat others how THEY want to be treated, rather than treating them how you want to be treated; how to neutralize shame through forgiveness; and lastly, how cultivating intimacy through awareness can enhance our relationships, inter and intrapersonal.
If you want to find more of Jacqueline, follow the links below:
https://joywithjax.com
https://instagram.com/joywithjax
Find upcoming episodes on my social medias, found on the homepage of The Psychoe. (https://thepsychoe.com)
Music is Face In It by FallenforAutumn on Instagram.
Thursday Apr 08, 2021
Thursday Apr 08, 2021
Here it is, folx! Pt. 3 of the Pt. 4 series with Dr. Darrel Ray on what religious trauma looks like, the process of deprogramming, and the important skill of self-regulation.
And I quote, "We all encounter stressful environments; what makes life worth living is to have the skills to regulate your emotions. We want to keep ourselves regulated so that when we hit a hard spot we have the skills to walk through that. Those skills will help us in maintaining positive relationships with our partners, understanding our children, and living a happier life. THAT is the key to being a healthy human being." Quote by Dr. Ray.
Let's leave behind the message that our body is our enemy and begin to love our bodies for all that they are. But how difficult is it to truly break free from a trauma cycle? What does that process even look like? How does it affect our nervous system and how many times do we want to keep reliving it? Great questions to ask yourself, but Dr. Ray has thoughts on them in this episode.
Important take away: Concept of Attribution Theory--When our brains label hormone production as an emotional experience and within that, we can sometimes misattribute. We tend to attribute our feelings to the wrong things when in reality, we are experiencing our body's endocrine system.
Resource mentioned:
Adverse Childhood Experiences Test by the CDC
Pt. 4 will be covering BDSM and Non-monogamy through the Eyes of a Religious Trauma Specialist. Stay tuned for future episodes by following The PsycHoe on social media found on my website: https://thepsychoe.com
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Find more of Dr. Darrel Ray below:
https://twitter.com/drdray132
https://recoveringfromreligion.org
https://seculartherapy.org
The Secular Sexuality Podcast Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/DrRayLifeCoach/
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Music is Face In It by @fallenforautumn on Instagram
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Thursday Apr 01, 2021
Today, Jaqueline Stevens, a Certified Professional Coach + Master of Energy and Reiki Practitioner, joins us today to talk about the importance of living an authentic life. She comes from a heavy corporate background and attracts clients who share this life experience by offering ways to integrate both a "corporate strategy and spiritual ritual" into their everyday life. One way she does this is by identifying emotional patterns to help her clients see where they might be holding themselves back in life, which she calls her "Soul Alignment Blueprint". We looked at what it takes to make our mess our medicine, the importance of living a value-led life, and the delicate balance and description of our innate feminine and masculine--yin and yang--characteristics.
We have a second interview coming soon where Jaqueline guides us through a meditation in chakra alignment and describes the benefits of doing this, even if it is just once a month. She also goes into the role that each chakra plays in our lives and how they develop throughout the lifespan. To stay up to date on future episodes, find more at The PsycHoe's Website.
To find more of Jaqueline, links are below:
Music is Face In It by FallenForAutumn on Instagram
To find the video recording of this episode, click here.
Thursday Mar 25, 2021
Thursday Mar 25, 2021
Joined by the lovely Dr. Darrel Ray, we get to discuss a topic that he mentions he could go on for hours about; in fact, he has and will continue to do so.
Dr. Ray, religious trauma specialist, goes into the intrinsic relationship between religion and our sexualities, how approaches to sex and sexuality vary across different cultures, the topic of pair bonding, and the phenomena of the hidden oestrus in humans.
Tune in for an episode worth your time.
Pt. 3 will be about recovering from religion and how to reprogram yourself. Stay tuned for future episodes by following The PsycHoe on the social medias found on my website: https://thepsychoe.com
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Find more of Dr. Darrel Ray below:
The Secular Sexuality Podcast Facebook
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Music is Face In It by @fallenforautumn on Instagram
Thursday Mar 11, 2021
Thursday Mar 11, 2021
This is Pt. 1 of a four-part series.
Today, I was blessed to share space with the legendary Dr. Darrel Ray. He is a psychologist and religion specialist who helps individuals all around the world recover from religious trauma. He does this through his organization, Recovering from Religion. He's also the author of two world-renowned books, The God Virus, as well as, Sex and God. Today was an introduction to who Dr. Ray is and why he decided to take on the task of confronting religion from a secular point of view. In today's world, it's rare to find a therapist who does this, which is why Dr. Ray decided to tackle this gap in the system the best way he knows how.
And because of this gap, Dr. Ray founded the Secular Therapy Project. A platform that coaches therapists on the important influence religion has on our lives and how to approach the traumas it's left behind from a therapeutic standpoint. In addition, he offers therapy to individuals who are looking to heal from aspects of their religion in a confidential space.
We also covered some of the topics in his books, such as how religion spreads and why. He classifies religion as a "virus of the mind" and describes how it infects us with its dogmas.
Pt. 2 is going to be about how and why religion and sexuality are tied together, so stay tuned for future episodes by following The PsycHoe on the social medias found on my website: The PsycHoe.
Find more of Dr. Darrel Ray below:
Music is Face In It by @fallenforautumn on Instagram
Thursday Feb 25, 2021
Thursday Feb 25, 2021
Exclusive to listeners of this podcast, Nikkiema Rai is offering 20% off for bookings and this offer runs through July 1st. You'll need to contact her through her socials below and use the promo code "PSYCHOE".
Email: nikkiema.rai@gmail.com
Nikkiema Rai reached out to me about speaking on her passion and all time love, Somatic Sexology. She is a Somatic Sexologist and Relationship Coach who focuses on the healing of the mind-body connection within her clients in order to live a more fulfilling and pleasurable life.
As a society, we are all susceptible to disconnecting from our body's intuition because we can be very achievement-driven; always using our bodies as vehicles to get from point A to point B without paying attention to what our body needs in those moments. Nikkiema offers tools and strategies to begin the process of mending that mind-body connection and emphasizes the important role it can have in our lives when our minds and bodies are communicating with each other.
Just as Eastern Philosophy suggests, Nikkiema points out that most of our creative expression is rooted in our sacral zone, or genital area. When we unlock the power of our sacred sexual energies, we find confidence in who we are, where we are going, and where we are now.
We touch on the core of somatic work, in that emotional trauma gets stored in our bodies but, there are ways to move this emotion (energy-in-motion) through ourselves, create more positive neural pathways surrounding the thought that triggered it so that we can have more power over our human experience. These types of sessions often include different techniques, such as breath, sound, movement, touch, body-mapping, with a sprinkle of Cognitive-Behavior Therapy.
Nikkiema has clients that not only struggle with the power of their sexuality, but her work crosses over into individuals struggling with day-to-day interpersonal relationships, a deep-seated trauma, or the social barriers between men and women that can make communications awkward.
Visit The PsycHoe for more episodes and blog posts.
Music is Face In It by FallenForAutum
Wednesday Feb 17, 2021
Wednesday Feb 17, 2021
This is a brief exposure to the power of active listening and an overview of all the nuances that make a good listener. This is part one of a four-part series because we're going to take a deeper look into the details of each component to understand why it's important to even identify them in the first place. Active listening is a skill that isn't taught to us growing up, but it takes effort and hard work to utilize to the best of our advantage.
Saturday Feb 13, 2021
Saturday Feb 13, 2021
Joined, once again, by Christopher DeFranco, clinical mental health professional, we conquer the topic of LGBTQIA+ and cover a list of ambiguities when it comes to proper etiquette. We start by breaking down the acronym to make it more digestible for the general public and go into detail about the I, the A, and the Plus. What do all of these letters encompass and how can we be confident and fully embody the expression of our desires?
Gender labels are important and we go into why this is, but it's important to note that it's not as simple as a google search. In other words, labels are for "me" to know. They provide clarity for individuals who struggle with understanding their own desires, not for others to be able to stick you in a box and call it a day.
How do we be respectful of people who might not fit into gender norms? What even IS gender? And how can we be even more inclusive and integrate these marginalized populations? Tune in to get your questions answered.
To find more, follow the link to my website: https://thepsychoe.com
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
Thursday Feb 04, 2021
As we all know, social isolation has taken a toll on all of us. Some feel this more than others depending on locality, and then there are those who are easily forgotten who truly suffer from the social distancing protocols.
Currently, hospice patients are allowed zero outside contact and very limited contact with nurses, doctors, and other health professionals. Their loved ones are suffering as well, and are probably experiencing a gamut of emotions ranging from anger to helplessness.
My dear friend, Robert Osmand, joins me today to share the strange situation he found himself in to shed light on just how heartbreaking this is for a large portion of our population.
Do you find yourself to be the person cling onto as a rock when the storm hits? Well, you're not alone. Tune in for some like-minded thoughts, and walk away with tools to address this experience in order to extend love to the ones who need it most, including yourself.
Follow the link below to read more into the science of neurochemicals that are naturally produced in our brains in response to stress and how they provide a world of benefits for our health.
https://thepsychoe.com/blog/the-importance-of-social-interaction-and-the-covid-19-effect/
Music: Face In It by @fallenforautumn on Instagram
Friday Jan 29, 2021
Friday Jan 29, 2021
Today, we were joined by Christopher DeFranco, a Clinical Mental Health Counselor. Christopher started out his career by establishing his place in the community and practicing school-based and in-home therapy with low-income individuals. From there, he worked with Inpatient Hospitals for high acuity individuals that struggle with suicidality, personality disorders, psychosis, and chemical dependency. Currently, he works out of private practice with a particular focus on specialized populations that include: developmental and communication disorders, veterans and those who suffer from complex trauma and PTSD, Sexual dysfunctions and paraphilias, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community.
In Part-One, we cover the identifying traits associated with someone who might be struggling with personality disorders, such as Anti-Social PD (sociopathy) and Borderline PD (narcissism). Like for instance, these individuals might experience patterns of unstable relationships with their families, friends, and loved ones; often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation).
Now, it’s important to remember that personality disorders fall on a spectrum. Even if there is someone who is acting these characteristics out, it’s detrimental to their growth to self-diagnose them with, for example, “sociopathy”; And just because they exhibit this type of behavior, does not mean that they are broken. Phrases, such as, “You’re a [sociopath/psychopath]”, are at best an uneducated, uninformed guess; At worst, it can cause this person to feel attacked and then become defensive. These words could be classified as buzzwords, and are typically used to justify our own decision-making process.
Now, this is a good time to elaborate on Reality-Based Therapy—one of Christopher’s most effective, yet controversial, treatment modalities. You would think that Reality-Based Therapy is practiced amongst most therapists, because if they’re not analyzing the reality of your situation, what are they analyzing? Well, Christopher confronts these questions with the professional discernment of when and how to incorporate this into a session. Essentially, he asks his clients to own their thoughts, decisions, and emotions, empowering them to make the changes necessary to get to a more comfortable place in order for them to thrive more fully.
Please see below for resources available to individuals struggling with anything above:
National Institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org
HelpWhenYouNeedIt.Org over 350,000 listings for social services, mental health, substance use, legal and financial assistance.
Psychology Today offers a national directory of therapists, psychiatrists, therapy groups and treatment facility options
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention provides referrals to support groups and mental health professionals, resources on loss, and suicide prevention information (+1 888-333-2377)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 crisis intervention, safety planning and information on domestic violence (+1 800-799-7233)
The Suicide Prevention Lifeline connects callers to trained crisis counselors (+1 800-273-8255)
Wednesday Jan 20, 2021
Wednesday Jan 20, 2021
Pop Your Cherry!'s are meant to stimulate free thought and incite conversations with your peers about topics that don't normally come up around the dinner table. In this segment, I'm asking you to think about what your attachment style is. Keep in mind, our attachment styles alter depending on who we are with, but are initially developed between ourselves and our main caretakers growing up.
Thursday Jan 14, 2021
Thursday Jan 14, 2021
Mental health professional, Scott Smith, combines the benefits of hypnotherapy and EMDR to treat his clients. We discuss the effectiveness of these modalities and what they're best used for. Scott also worked with the sex offending population for 18 years developing programs of rehabilitation and provides us with some insight into this extremely misunderstood population.
You can see more about what he does on his website at
https://pfdovercounselinghypnosis.com
and by visiting his PsychologyToday profile
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/scott-allen-smith-trophy-club-tx/123060
More platforms for listening can be found on my website at
and on my linktree
https://campsite.bio/thepsychoe
Thursday Jan 07, 2021
Thursday Jan 07, 2021
Just 2 minutes out of your day. In this week's Pop Your Cherry, I'm asking my listeners to define their sexuality and look at the influential factors that help decide it's unique makeup.
Saturday Jan 02, 2021
Friday Jan 01, 2021